i miss him

So I'm in Michigan and I'm on a family trip. My boyfriend Josh was supposed to come with us but do to some "complications" he couldn't come. I have been here for almost a week and to top it off I had already not seen him for almost two weeks because he was on a family vacation as well. I am so depressed right now I don't even know what to do. I miss him more than anything else. He's everything to me and I miss him so much that it is physically hurting me. I cry myself to sleep thinking about him, all we've done like this entire week is sext over aim. I'm not upset with the sexting, let me just clear that right now. I miss him so much, it's absolutely unbearable. I have a lot of things wrong with me and I have very bad self esteem issues and self worth issues. I constantly degrade myself and compare my life to everyone else. No one would ever know that though, I'm very good at hiding these things. I have depression and I'm angry all the time. I don't tell my parents because I don't want any more medications and I don't want to sit in a room for an hour with some idiot who thinks he knows my problems. Josh helped me with all of that. He made me happy and safe. I felt safe with him. I don't feel safe any more. I need him and I miss him. I love him to the moon and back and I miss him.